I want you to stop. Just stop. And push away the lies and put this thought into your head:
You’re Not a Bad Mom.
You’re not. You really, really aren’t.
It’s just hard.
So much harder than we ever thought.
Visions of motherhood pre-kids include cuddling, and singing, and art projects and dancing in the rain. Real motherhood includes book covers that are torn, coffee tables that are always covered in mini-toys and sticky spilled something, toddlers screaming for an hour “just because”, and getting up 6 times a night to get cups of milk, peel off peed-on sheets, and calm over-tired cries.
It’s just hard.
And if you are anything like me you feel like there is something you are missing. Maybe there is a book to tell you how it will be easier. Or a “whisperer” will instruct you on what you are doing wrong. Or you will get an epiphany filled with mothering wisdom.
It’s just hard.
And you feel like until you “get” the right formula you are a bad mom. Or maybe not a bad mom but just not a good one anyways. And hopefully some day you will get it right.
It’s just hard.
Friends, there’s nothing to “get”… it’s just hard. Hard because we didn’t expect it to be. Hard because it’s suppose to be. Hard because it’s shaping us. It’s shaping our children. It’s creating all of us into the men and women we are supposed to be.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame… ~ Romans 5:3-5 NIV
We never want trials and struggles in our lives. But they are there for a reason. Your littles are learning from you how to handle struggle. How you respond and handle this season of hardship affects how they will handle themselves in the future. I really believe one of the reasons parenting is so hard is because it is teaching our children a valuable lesson on how to respond to adversity.
We aren’t wonder women. We can’t do it all. And it’s okay. You aren’t missing out on the “right” formula. You probably won’t get an epiphany. And there will be days that are easier than others. But you’re not a bad mom.
You’re just a mom.
And mom is a beautiful title.
A mom loves and gives, sometimes fails and tries again, comforts and nurtures, and teaches our kids that life is hard but through Grace we will be okay. And better than okay. Because we have a Great Comforter who is by our side.
We are just moms. And the lessons learned and taught, arms full of hugs, sticky kisses on the cheek, and shouts of “Mommy, I love you!” makes every bit of hardship okay.
You’re not a bad mom.
It’s just lessons of love.