I remember that day, a few years ago, standing in the middle of my tiny apartment kitchen. With a new baby in the mix, I was now a mom with 3 kids under the age of 3. And I stood there, in that tiny kitchen, with tears pouring down my face. One of my toddlers was screaming. Another was crying. The baby was only wanting to be held. And I felt completely overwhelmed. And I felt scared.
I began to cry, “Why is this so hard? Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be this hard?”
And I meant more than just 3 kids crying at once. I meant life. Being a grown up. Why was marriage so hard? Why was being a mom so difficult? Why did friendships seem strained? Why did familes grow short with each other?
I remember standing in that kitchen, with the screaming kids and crying self, and deciding I was going to make a class… I was going to teach young teenage girls and young women that being a wife and mom is hard. I would be the one to prepare them. I would create courses and materials to formulate a way that these future mothers and spouses would feel and BE prepared the moment they stepped into these new roles. No one else would have to struggle the way I had.
And now, years later, here I sit…. Still a tired mom with 3 under 5. I sit as someone who has majorly struggled in marriage. I sit as someone who still feels overwhelmed. And I sit as someone with no developed classes or courses to prepare anyone for anything.
Because I know now…
Love is hard.
Struggles don’t equate lack of love. Discomfort doesn’t mean you got it wrong. Uncomfortable doesn’t mean you don’t know what you are doing. And feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you aren’t prepared.
It just means you are wrapped up right in the middle of love. That you are smack in the middle of love.
Because love is hard.
Every day you breathe in and breathe out your love for your family. Everything you do has them in your thoughts. Your actions. Your responses. The weight of your extreme love is felt in every single thing you do.
And that is what makes love hard. It’s all encompassing. Your body, soul and mind. There is nothing that love doesn’t touch.
It’s weight is what makes the joys so high and the struggles so low. Because love is everything and your whole life is taken with it.
Loves weight can feel heavy.
Lets be honest… It is.
But, oh but, the beauty. The tenderness. The absolution. All of this comes out of the hard days. The heart ache. The difficulty.
So, to the future moms and wives to be, I can simply say this….
I probably won’t have a class to better prepare you.
If you have hard days, hard weeks, hard months…. You aren’t the exception. You’re the rule.
Because love is hard.
But here is what I will tell you. Dig in your heels. Love back. Love fiercely. Pray hard. Trust harder. Keep faith that God is with you. His love is just as deep and just as long and just as fast. On the days you don’t have faith, call someone who can have the faith for you to encourage you on. Surround yourself with community. Keep coffee or chocolate nearby.
And believe you will make it.
Because LOVE always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The Savior has you – you are loved. Love for Him was hard too. It looked like a cross for Him. So you don’t need a manual or class to prepare you. You just need HIM.