So the past few weeks I have been cringing a bit when I pull up my Facebook or Twitter news feed. Because I have seen a lot of cyber fighting if you will amongst women mostly but there has been a lot of men chiming in too.
People fighting over if one should wear yoga pants or not.
People saying you shouldn’t go see 50 Shades of Grey and those who feel offended defending their choices.
People fighting over vaccinations which then turns into a great debate about parenting skills.
And I find it leaves people worn out, hurt, frustrated, angry and even defeated.
I’ve watched from the sidelines unsure of what to say. I feel like I need to take a side and defend what I believe is right and Biblical sound. And then I see the friends who don’t believe the same as me feeling attacked and singled out. They feel like outsiders. And they feel shamed.
I am sure that is not the point behind all of these blog posts coming out right now from some really great writers. It is not to make others feel shamed. And yet, somehow when the readers comment harshly behind the security of the internet, or share the post with an adamant verbal slam, these posts become a line of attack.
The readers share and say, “There… This is what you need to read. This is how you need to change.”
And then those who may not agree see those lines as, “Here… This is what’s wrong with you. Here is where you are failing.”
And then the enemy uses this to produce a whole lot of shame.
So I sit and watch these posts flood in and around the social media world and my heart breaks. Because messages gets misconstrued. Labels get placed. And the love and intention behind the posts somehow go missing.
I am a writer. But not a famous one. And social media helps me spread my words like no other medium in the past could. So for that I am grateful.
But I am also saddened by the way social media can simply divide, separate and even destroy a community of women who should be united as one. Because while it is not wrong to share posts and promote words, I feel like a more important element is missing…
An actual gathering of community.
An actual bond of sisterhood.
An actual dependence on our sisters in Christ to help us in our crazy walk of life.
And here’s why I struggle with these posts that go crazy…
Because (and I am writing this as a general person) before I posted how 50 Shades could ruin your marriage, I should have asked you over to my home when I saw your broken heart at church and sat with you over warm cups of coffee, with a Bible opened between us, listened to your struggles and looked up with you what the Word has to say to help your marriage.
Because before commenting on my firm stance to (or to not) vaccinate, I wish I would have noticed your overwhelmed mother’s heart, invited you to come make freezer meals with me while our kids played outside, and encouraged you in the great job you are doing in raising your tiny humans.
Because before linking blogs that promote the way you ought to dress, I should hug you often, tell you of your beautiful worth simply because you are a child of God, and continually build you up in the Lord.
I live in Las Vegas, aka Sin City USA. I see sex everywhere we go. It’s on the billboards with scantily clad women. It’s in the promos to do what you want because it stays in Vegas. I see the trucks carrying huge signs with nearly naked women telling you how to get a date to your room in an hour. I drive by the brothels just outside of town and stare at them curiously. I see the strip clubs on every other corner that promote live nudes now. It’s everywhere. To the place where I wonder how I explain this to my young children when they grow older.
And when I first moved here I was disgusted by it. I really was. How could women treat themselves this way? Shouldn’t they want to be better for themselves? For their family? For any children they may have?
Then I heard of an organization called The Cupcake Girls. They work specifically with the women who work in the adult entertainment industry here. They started by waking into a strip club with a box of pink cupcakes. They didn’t judge. They didn’t try to “save” a girl from the club. They just loved her. They hugged her. They offered her help with babysitting, any needs around the home she may have, and handed her a pink cupcake.
They just showed love.
When I heard about the Cupcake Girls my perspective changed a bit on how I wanted to handle myself when I passed any sex industry site here in Vegas. Instead of feeling disgusted and angry, I felt love. I felt love for the women who were working inside who just need a Savior like we all do. Instead of getting frustrated I just prayed. Prayed for healing of any hearts. Prayed for hope. Prayed for peace. Prayed for God’s will to be done.
Hear me out friends, I don’t think it’s wrong to take a stand. No, I won’t go see 50 Shades of Grey. And no, I won’t be saying “it doesn’t work for me but it might work for you so that’s okay.” I don’t want people to see this movie. But, instead of declaring my disdain, I want to share my love. I want to start a community to the unbelievers around me who don’t understand my views. I want to start a community to the believers who understand but may be struggling with what the Bible says. I want to start a community of love and embracing of souls before I am quick to hurt people with my words.
I just want to start a community.
Because I feel like that is what is missing these days. A joining of sisters in Christ. Praying for friends. Bringing meals over. Checking in on someone who may be quiet and missing a lot lately. Babysitting kids when a mom needs a breath. Being a listening ear and hugging board when a marriage is struggling. I want to be that to others. And I need someone to be all those same things for me.
So I don’t want to fight with you over yoga pants and movies on social media. But I do want to jump in the trenches with you and fight through the attacks of life the enemy sends our way.
I want to be your community. And I am so deeply invested in this that, outside of my family, this is my life’s work. To bring back community and love and mentorship to the daughters of Christ.
I realize my heart my be misunderstood and words taken out of context after this post. I may lose some followers too. But If you get anything from this post it is simply this, I am for you. Christ is for you. I want to help you navigate the mistakes and successes we all face in life together. Because I believe that is what sisterhood is all about.
So much love to you all.